With Patreon and Substack I've struggled to understand those that support but do not engage. For me I feel as if I am failing them in some way. Truth may well be they don't need or want to engage with me. They just want to support. Or maybe they are just forgetful, serial subscribers squandering their incomes; casting lines but never reeling them in
So good, Leah! Boy do I relate to commenting when I could/should have walked away, or kept my mouth shut. I cringe when I think of the things I used to say. Thank the Lord I have learned the value of just listening without always piping in! My mouth got me in some hot water when I was much younger.
Thank you Leslie!! I'm finally learning it too, and I'm glad to know it's possible to actually change this. Thank you for being my role model in this endeavor!
Loved when you said, "The ostensible point of social media was, at one time, to connect." Now it feels like the point is to PROMOTE! and ENGAGE! and SELL! The primary product is yourself and every interaction is the opportunity to monetize. Thank you for the reminder that not every piece of art has to spark a conversation, it can just be something you made for the world, whether they like it or not.
Yes! Honestly the truth is I forget that myself. Even with this piece. Will it get enough likes and comments and attention? Will it have an external marker of success that makes me feel better about myself? Will it woo back lost paid subscribers? It’s exhausting and kind of meaningless. Versus resonating with someone and finding actual connection - you can’t put a price on that, which is why we forget to value it. (Hmm might have to put that line in a future piece, ha!)
That's exactly it! 1,000 likes from people who don't take time to really enjoy the work is just viewership. If only 5 people see the work, but all of them become paid subscribers and start meaningful conversations, then the external marker of a big following doesn't apply.
(I have to remind myself this all the time, especially on Instagram, when only 5-10 people like a photo I spent a lot of time making. Then I remember I personally know all of them and they actually care about it.)
Yes yes yes. Yes!! So when I was doing my sociology PhD I actually did some work in social network analysis, and the sign of status is not how many connections you have, it's how many *high status* connections you have. Like if you have 100 connections but none of them are connected to much else, it's not anywhere as powerful as having 10 connections who themselves are also well-connected. In some ways I think if you swap out "status" for "meaningful" it's the same thing?
Also re: photography, this is when I miss Flickr. Because IG isn't for that kind of photography community! It's not the same. (I just bought a bunch of polaroid film in the hopes it inspires me to get back to it)
YES to Polaroid film! I hope it's been fruitful so far! Instant film is some of my favorite because it just is. Once it's developed, that's the image. And duplicating the same shot the next day is nearly impossible (moreso with film than digital, IMO).
And YES to *meaningful* connections over a large number of them. Social network analysis sounds really thought provoking given our networks used to be in person and now they are in the digital ether.
such a thoughtful piece! I'm laughing so hard at how we can't be as cool as the Swedes, LOL. Also, I'm wondering if the renewed interest in the Artists Way, Rick Rubin etc is a reaction to the feeling you describe, that everything is a referendum on the self. The focus on creativity for creativity's sake feels like a way out of that trap. I think. Or it is more neoliberalizing of the self!
Honestly while I was there I realized that what I wanted wasn't just to be an American in Sweden, I wanted to be a cool Swedish (or cool Danish) girl, and I would NEVER be that, not in one million years. So I was like, guess I'll go be a not-cool American in New York, haha. And yes, I do think there's something in the resurgence of Artists Way (which I tried doing but I loathe morning pages so much that I gave up) etc. that's a response to getting outside this hyperfocused self. But I lean more toward the neoliberalizing of the self!
Leah, thank you for linking to Days With My Father, by Phillip Toledano. I don’t remember if I saw it at the time, but I was moved and recalled suddenly exactly what you were talking about. The personal and tender internet days. ♥️
Thank you. All of this. I will read this again at least three times a week.
Thank you so much! I’m glad it resonated.
With Patreon and Substack I've struggled to understand those that support but do not engage. For me I feel as if I am failing them in some way. Truth may well be they don't need or want to engage with me. They just want to support. Or maybe they are just forgetful, serial subscribers squandering their incomes; casting lines but never reeling them in
So good, Leah! Boy do I relate to commenting when I could/should have walked away, or kept my mouth shut. I cringe when I think of the things I used to say. Thank the Lord I have learned the value of just listening without always piping in! My mouth got me in some hot water when I was much younger.
Thank you Leslie!! I'm finally learning it too, and I'm glad to know it's possible to actually change this. Thank you for being my role model in this endeavor!
I still occasionally slip but it’s now usually when I am outraged! 😬🙈
That's reasonable. No one's asking you to be a SAINT, after all. PS - JH loafers had their inaugural outing, and I guess I live in them now??
LOL I have v strong perfectionistic tendencies that I work hard to override. JH loafers are so lovely!
Loved when you said, "The ostensible point of social media was, at one time, to connect." Now it feels like the point is to PROMOTE! and ENGAGE! and SELL! The primary product is yourself and every interaction is the opportunity to monetize. Thank you for the reminder that not every piece of art has to spark a conversation, it can just be something you made for the world, whether they like it or not.
Yes! Honestly the truth is I forget that myself. Even with this piece. Will it get enough likes and comments and attention? Will it have an external marker of success that makes me feel better about myself? Will it woo back lost paid subscribers? It’s exhausting and kind of meaningless. Versus resonating with someone and finding actual connection - you can’t put a price on that, which is why we forget to value it. (Hmm might have to put that line in a future piece, ha!)
That's exactly it! 1,000 likes from people who don't take time to really enjoy the work is just viewership. If only 5 people see the work, but all of them become paid subscribers and start meaningful conversations, then the external marker of a big following doesn't apply.
(I have to remind myself this all the time, especially on Instagram, when only 5-10 people like a photo I spent a lot of time making. Then I remember I personally know all of them and they actually care about it.)
Yes yes yes. Yes!! So when I was doing my sociology PhD I actually did some work in social network analysis, and the sign of status is not how many connections you have, it's how many *high status* connections you have. Like if you have 100 connections but none of them are connected to much else, it's not anywhere as powerful as having 10 connections who themselves are also well-connected. In some ways I think if you swap out "status" for "meaningful" it's the same thing?
Also re: photography, this is when I miss Flickr. Because IG isn't for that kind of photography community! It's not the same. (I just bought a bunch of polaroid film in the hopes it inspires me to get back to it)
YES to Polaroid film! I hope it's been fruitful so far! Instant film is some of my favorite because it just is. Once it's developed, that's the image. And duplicating the same shot the next day is nearly impossible (moreso with film than digital, IMO).
And YES to *meaningful* connections over a large number of them. Social network analysis sounds really thought provoking given our networks used to be in person and now they are in the digital ether.
such a thoughtful piece! I'm laughing so hard at how we can't be as cool as the Swedes, LOL. Also, I'm wondering if the renewed interest in the Artists Way, Rick Rubin etc is a reaction to the feeling you describe, that everything is a referendum on the self. The focus on creativity for creativity's sake feels like a way out of that trap. I think. Or it is more neoliberalizing of the self!
Honestly while I was there I realized that what I wanted wasn't just to be an American in Sweden, I wanted to be a cool Swedish (or cool Danish) girl, and I would NEVER be that, not in one million years. So I was like, guess I'll go be a not-cool American in New York, haha. And yes, I do think there's something in the resurgence of Artists Way (which I tried doing but I loathe morning pages so much that I gave up) etc. that's a response to getting outside this hyperfocused self. But I lean more toward the neoliberalizing of the self!
Leah, thank you for linking to Days With My Father, by Phillip Toledano. I don’t remember if I saw it at the time, but I was moved and recalled suddenly exactly what you were talking about. The personal and tender internet days. ♥️