On Wednesdays We Write

A brief note that asks: If I did it before, can I do it again?

If you’ve been around for a while, you might remember a series I did in 2014 called A Year of Wednesdays.* For those who aren’t familiar or who don’t remember, A Year of Wednesdays was a loose collection of personal essays and stories I published once a week. It was something I started on a lark, after I’d been rejected for a job I really wanted. The rejection made me feel terrible, and all I wanted to do was to show those assholes what they’d missed out on. A therapist suggested that, while spite might be a powerful motivator, I was also putting a lot of pressure on myself. She suggested instead that I try writing for myself. Why not write, she said, for the love of writing.

After a not-insignificant amount of eye-rolling, I gave in and said I’d do it. I didn’t think about it much beyond that, except to promise myself that I’d start in the new year, then only a few weeks away. On New Year’s Day, I forced myself both to start immediately and to publish my work in some consistent public way, in order to create a little bit of structure and accountability. The first day of 2014 happened to be a Wednesday, and I decided I’d post every single Wednesday that year – hence the name.

I started A Year of Wednesdays without any sort of vision. I took a suggestion someone made and I flung myself into it, without any direction or sense of clarity. That’s not unusual, really. A lot of my endeavors have begun that way. And in the case of the Wednesdays, it worked out. It ended up being the sort of real-time workshop I really needed, me making public mistakes and sharing half-baked essays that weren’t great, until eventually I found what felt like a groove and ultimately shared a few things I could be proud of.

But after many years, I feel like this general approach to projects – and really to life – is suboptimal. It sucks! It’s a lot of vague gesturing and floundering and grand attempts. Not a lot of follow through and certainly no arrival at a satisfying destination. I honestly don’t know why it took me this long to realize it.

I looked back on some of these newsletters I’ve sent here, and this same theme is there too. Got laid off, started a newsletter, threw some spaghetti at the wall, watched to see what stuck. Wrote a few posts about how I didn’t know what exactly I was doing here, hope that’s okay, I’ll figure it out. Then another post saying sorry it’s been a while. See what I mean about how much it sucks? Sure, there were some good posts in there too, but overall it’s felt fuzzy and vague. You’re all too nice to say anything, which I thank you for, but I don’t like it.

a photo of a jellyfish I took in 2011? maybe before

Earlier today, as I was doing a little yoga video, I had a sudden zing! realization. It’s New Year’s Day, and once again it’s a Wednesday. It also happens to be the first day of 2025, a year that feels like a big turning point – for the world at large maybe, but definitely for myself. We don’t need to get into the specifics but generally speaking: There’s a big birthday coming, and I’ve made some big decisions about my life. And if you’re up for it, I’d like to involve all of you in at least one of those.

Starting today, I’m officially on sabbatical for a few months, primarily to finish my book proposal. But I also want to work on some other things, including this newsletter. I want to give it a real go and see how I feel about writing something weekly again. Unlike with my previous Wednesday essays though, I don’t want this to be wholly undefined. It’ll be a bit of a work in progress but I’m picking a lane. I’m going back to what I started writing about here: Tech, social media, how much it’s affected us, what I’ve learned, and how badly I want us to be able to find a way back to being human beings who can connect with one another and build community. I’m committing to Wednesdays here, sending something out, no matter how good (or bad) it is. I’ll also post occasionally on Medium – maybe crossposts, maybe longer pieces, maybe one-offs that don’t quite fit here. I’m not sure yet. Am I’m committing to too much? Time will tell. The most important thing for me to do is finish my book proposal, but this feels important too.

This is likely the bloggiest I’ll get for a while (although no promises there). Next week, let’s get back to it. Thanks for sticking around.

xx

Leah

*Someone published a book called A Year of Wednesdays in 2019 and it is kind of freaking me out. How do two people come up with that title?? Brains are wild.